


Prisoner of his heart

by Pandora18



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora18/pseuds/Pandora18
Summary: Set as our heroic Lady Cousland is captured and locked up in Fort Drakon





	Prisoner of his heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unfinished work.... I started writing this back in 2013 and have only just found it :)
> 
> I have never shared anything that I have written, especially from so long ago.

Emily Cousland’s eyes fluttered open, the stale smell of rust and the metallic scent of blood filled her nostrils, her mind trying to piece together the events of the last few hours. She brushed a few strands of her long dark brown hair out of her face behind her ear, now realising how much her body ached from laying on this cold hard stone floor. All she could recall was planning Queen Anora’s rescue … then another memory flashed through her mind it was her, Morrigan, Zevran and her ever faithful Mabari war hound Astre she had asked Alistair to remain at Arl Eamon’s estate in case they were caught she couldn’t risk Alistair being captured, ignoring his protests Emily left. Storming through the Arl of Denerim’s Estate now owned but that treacherous bastard Arl Rendon Howe, Emily remembered finding Queen Anora, only to be told that the only way to free Wueen Anora was to find and kill the mage who had set the wards of the Queen's chambers, the one plus side to finding this mage was that he was also Howe’s bodyguard! Emily began her hunt of this mage only to be set upon by Ser Cauthrien and three dozen heavily armed guards. Emily had decided the best thing to do was to surrender to save any more bloodshed, Ser Cauthrien had been more compassionate than expected and had allowed Emily’s companions to leave, claiming Loghain ‘Only wanted the Warden’.

‘God that smell’ Emily thought to herself, as she sat up and she realised exactly where she was, Ser Cauthrien had knocked her out cold and had taken her to Fort Draken, where she could only imagine what Teyrn Loghain was planning for her.   
Teyrn Loghain … all this was because of him, everything changed in that split second he chose to betray the King and the Grey Wardens at the battle at Ostagar, Emily idolised Loghain as a child he is, was a hero throughout Fereldon, and now to think that he could have known that Arl Howe was planning to betray her father Bryce Cousland and her poor mother Eleanor, who knows he may have even helped plan it. She remembered watching her father, Loghain and Howe spend all night reminiscing of old times over a few mugs of fine ale. Emily’s mind flashed back to that night at Ostagar, the night Alistair, Daveth, Sir Jory and herself and ventured out into the Korcari Wilds and in search of the Grey wardens treaties, this was the same night that Emily had sought Loghain out in the camp and he had spent the evening consoling her over the awful fate of her family, she recalled leaning into Loghain’s broad masculine shoulders as he wrapped his strong arms around her and promised, yes that’s right she thought to herself he ‘promised!’ Howe would face justice for this barbaric assault.

‘Damn him’ Emily cursed to herself, she forced herself to sit up trying keep her balance as she brings herself to her feet. Steadying her legs as she holds onto the cell bars Emily soaks in her surroundings, she notices the cell next to her, as she got closer to the adjoining cell she quickly realised where that awful stench was originating from, lying face down in the middle of the filth stained cell was the body of an all too familiar face, poor … poor Sir Gilmore, the last time she saw Sir Gilmore he was sacrificing his own life so Emily and her mother could find her father and escape Arl Howe’s betrayal, even through the thick layer of blood that coated his skin she could still see the various obvious signs of torture. She couldn’t bear to look anymore and at that moment she heard a sickening chuckle echo from behind her, she turned to find a tall, heavy set, dirt-ridden prison guard glaring at her through the bars of her cell, the grin on his face as obnoxious as the snigger that she heard only minutes ago.

‘should’ve heard that one cry’ another snigger as he shifted from one foot to another ‘The good Arl tried for days to get your whereabouts from ‘im, he threw everything he had at ‘im ‘   
Emily studied the guard closely, trying exceptionally hard not to show how repulsed she was when she saw his eyes wander over her exposed legs then slowly travel up her body and linger over her full round breasts. It was only now she realised how very little she was actually wearing, she had been stripped of her armour and dressed in just a very low cut tight fitted linen dress that barely traced the top of her thigh.  
‘Oh yeah … the Arl struck out with your Daddy dearest, he died not long after the Arl’s guard Captain slit your mothers throat, yep he watched her bleed out in front of him, course he couldn’t do anything considering half his insides being on the outside by this point’ the guard paused and chuckled to himself, Emily felt her blood starting to boil as the guard made a mockery of her parents, ‘It seems like everyone around you that night died to protect you’ he continued ‘Only for you to end up here … is this fine’ the hummed to himself and clicked his tongue ‘establishment’ the guard straightened himself up and Emily heard a deep guttural grunt erupt from his throat as he adjusted his belt, Emily soon realised the reason for his sudden body shift. She hadn’t noticed before but the cold air in the cell had taken an unwanted effect on her body, she lowered eyes ever so quickly and subtlety to her breasts where her erect nipples were seemingly almost poking through the thin cloth that scarcely covered her, which was leaving very little to the imagination and had engaged the guards full attention. 

So many thoughts raced through Emily’s head in those few seconds, a combination of embarrassment and anger, and strangely enough she thought of Morrigan, Emily knew exactly what the witch of the wilds would be advising her to do, but Emily also knew that she was no skilled seductress not unlike Morrigan who had used such tricks on her various trips into Lothering and other surrounding towns to the wilds. But Emily was not without some skill as both Zevran and Leliana had both made note of on several occasions in camp. But there it was hanging plain as day off his belt, the ring of cell keys there wasn’t any doubt in Emily’s mind one of those had to be for this cell. Emily had to decide now what to do, she couldn’t waste any more time thinking of what her friends would do, Even though this pig of a man was just making disgusting jokes about her parents and the way they were brutally murdered Emily knew that right now she had to act.

So with all the grace she could muster Emily leaned back against the cold metal bars and sighed deeply as she pulled both her arms behind her and laced them through the bars pulling back her shoulders causing the already skin-tight material to constrict around her breasts causing her nipples to push against the cloth, the guards eyes widened as Emily sighed again knowing it had the desirable effect she had intended. Releasing her arms from the bars Emily slowly placed one foot directly in front of the other Emily started walking across the cell keeping her eyes on the floor,   
‘You know … it’s awfully cold in this cell’ half way across the cell now Emily slowly raised her eyelids looking the guard directly in the eye ‘not to mention how incredibly lonely I'm feeling right now’ she was now mere inches from the other side of the cell, she saw the guard gulp whilst fidgeting on the spot.  
‘Seeing as though I’ve already surrendered to … you’ Emily’s dark green eyes fixed on the guards ‘I guess I’m going to be locked away in this cell for some time’ Emily gently ran her moist tongue over her dark pink lips, a small amount of delight ran through as she noted the guards eyes following her tongue, she surprised even herself as she knew this was working. Emily now stood directly in front of the guard as she wrapped her fingers around the bars, holding her gaze with the guard. Leaning forward and in the most sultry manor possible she whispers to him   
‘Do you think you can help me’ the guards eyes lit up almost instantly, he took in a very sharp breathtaking Emily by surprise, his expression hardened at this, not wanting him to see her reaction she pressed her body up against the bars gently biting down on her lower lip making sure he knew exactly what she was offering.

His thin dry lips curled into a smile and his face softened, Emily knew this was going to happen but she had to get him inside the cell with her, no matter what it took she was getting out of here. Emily lowered both her hands slowly down the bars, bringing her left hand back in towards her thigh raising her linen dress just enough to show him that she wasn’t wearing any underwear, with this the guard not moving from his spot began to fumble with his belt, Emily quickly slipped both her hands through the bars grabbing his chest plate pulling the guard closer stopping his clumsy fumbling, using just her fingertip she drew a single line starting on his chest running slowly down to his crotch where she found the gap in the armour just big enough for her to slide her hand inside his under clothes, the guard gripped the bars when Emily found her prize, she traced her fingers gently over the shaft of his already hard penis, he groaned to himself and shut his eyes and she took him in her hand and started to work his penis. His breathing grew faster with each stroke he was slowly starting to push his hips into her hand, Emily had positioned him so that his crotch was directly between the two bars opposite her sex. 

Emily would never admit so much out loud but she did find herself becoming oddly aroused but this scene unravelling in front of her. Not because of the guard oh no … but because of how she was seducing this man into a trap. As he pushed into her hand Emily pushed her own body in closer to the head of his penis which was now brushing against her bare sex. Listening to moans grow louder and then suddenly just as quickly as she had been working him Emily stopped, causing the guard's eyes to open wide with a lustful gaze. Her hand still wrapped firmly around his throbbing penis she lightly drew him closer to the bars so close she could feel his breath against her cheek, gently grazing her lips against across his cheek up toward his ear where Emily quietly whispered in a husky tone   
‘Do you want me?’  
‘Maker yes’ exclaimed the guard without hesitation, Emily let go of his manhood, pulled her hand free and took a few steps back, leaving him stood there still tightly gripping the bars and then again with her left hand she raised her linen dress to reveal her bare sex to the guard only this time she slid her right hand down over her sex and using her middle finger only she slipped in between her lips, groaning at how good her own fingers felt against her hot slit, she had never done this before and certainly never imagined doing it in front of a stranger let alone a man holding her prisoner. As she continued to rub against her clit she could feel herself becoming more aroused and wet, she paused but only for a second as she sat herself down keeping her knees bent and legs spread apart keeping everything in view of the guard, whose eyes were glued to Emily’s right hand which was sliding over her clit her fingers coated in her juices sliding up and down causing Emily to groan louder.  
‘Do you want me’ she asked again  
‘Yes, oh Andraste yes’ the guard replied, looking as though he could tear those bars apart with his bare hands  
‘Then come and get me'

The guard didn’t need telling twice he rushed round to the cell door, Emily could hear him pulling at his armour sending it clattering to the floor, she could hear him searching for the right key to the cell door. With him hidden from sight behind the door Emily felt like she had been hit by an ogre, what was she doing? For a single solitary moment, she had actually considered laying with this man, this repulsive man who laughed and joked about poor Sir Gilmore’s torture, she had let her raw emotions get the best of her she had to get her mind back on track and stick to the plan of getting out of here. No she was a Cousland she was Emily Cousland, she had to gain back the control, She quickly glanced around the cell looking for anything to use as a weapon, all she saw was a pile of old cloth in the far corner ‘probably belonged to the cell’s previous inhabitants’ she thought to herself. It was too late, the cell door swung open and there stood the guard, he had stripped himself down to his underwear and moved into the cell at a pace Emily could never have expected. The look in his eyes was a disturbing blend of aggression and hunger, Emily tried to shuffle backwards but he was far too quick before she knew what was happening he was on her, leaning between her legs pressing his body onto hers.  
‘Wait … hang on’ Emily tried to push him back but he didn’t seem to hear her, ‘Look … wait please’ she pleaded louder this time.  
‘Stop … Wait’ she shouted whilst driving both her hands into his chest forcing his body back only for him to grab both of her wrists and hold them down above her head. The guard pushed his full weight down on to her then leaned down close to her so they were face to face.  
‘You started this, I know you want it’ he snarled in her ear, he stuck out his tongue and ran along her face from her jawline to the edge of her cheekbone, Emily began to cry out in disgust but he crushed his lips against hers darting his tongue into her mouth, Emily squealed and bucked up her hips hoping to knock him off balance, but this only fuelled the guards lust, his kiss was clumsy and wet and Emily gasped for air when he finally broke away. He held both of her hands down above her head with one of his, he snaked his free hand down in-between their two bodies, his rough dirty fingers found her already slick entrance, she tried to force her legs closed but to no avail, the guard had forced his finger inside of her, there was no passion in his actions as he pumped his finger into her, his clammy lips worked there down to Emily’s now exposed breast, his mouth felt hot and sticky against her skin he clamped his lips around her rosy nipple flicking his tongue over and around her bud. Emily felt his growls vibrate against her skin as pumped two filthy fingers into her soft entrance, she squirmed under him, and she was starting to panic now she was losing control. 

Emily felt a sudden shock as the guard let go of her wrists, she threw her hands straight towards the guard trying to push him away, clawing at any part of him she could find. Nothing she did seemed to affect the guard, his other hand was kneading her breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, sharp pains were sent through Emily’s body she began thrashing her hands at the guard pulling his hair forcing his head away from her breasts.  
‘Arghhhhh … bitch! Let go of my hair’ the guard hollered at her, Emily ignored his cry and continued to yank at the guard’s hair. The guard threw his head forward aiming for Emily’s head but luckily for Emily her father’s rogue training had taught her to expect such a reaction, as fast as she could Emily shifted her head to the side leaving the exposed floor open, the guard’s skull collided with the stone floor. Emily winced at the sound his head made against the floor it seemed to reverberate around the cell, it wasn’t nearly enough though, the guard leapt back balancing on his knees clutching his head in his hands, Emily pushed herself back on her elbows just enough so her calves were directly between the guards legs, she didn’t hesitate, her leg flew up and caught the guard in his groin. The guard recoiled back and curled up on the floor rolling over onto his back, Emily actually smiled to herself admiring what she had done, the guard gasped for air he couldn’t stop the tears forming in his eyes,  
‘Bitch….. you’ll pay for this’ he rasped hoarsely, Emily staggered to her feet and approached the guard, Emily hated dirty manoeuvres in a fight her father had taught her better than that, but this … this was different Emily stood motionless for a moment then took a step back and took a deep breath and swinging her leg forward, her foot connected forcefully with the side of his head knocking him out cold. Emily took a moment to gather her thoughts, looking around the cell she strode over toward the cloth she noticed earlier and searched for the cleanest piece she could find and used it to wipe herself clean,  
‘Right’ she said out loud to herself ‘All I have to do now is get out of here’ she chuckled to herself  
‘Now you filthy pig … where did you drop those keys’ she began searching through the guards discarded armour,   
‘Aha’ Emily exclaimed as she found the keys tossed under the armour, Emily wasted no time in heading out of the cell she would have to find a weapon elsewhere ‘what kind of guard doesn’t carry a sword’ she mumbled to herself, she crept carefully around the first corner using her stealth to her advantage, skilfully she manoeuvred through the shadows around the second corner, there it was … the main door to the cells she hadn’t seen nor heard any other guards, she fumbled through the keys finding the one to fit the lock, slowly sliding the key into the lock, silently turning it and edging the door open just enough to peek through, she saw no one … Emily knew something wasn’t right, where were the guards he couldn’t have been the only one ‘Surely not’ she thought to herself. She made it to the end of the corridor when she stepped out of the shadows and peered around the next turning. 

Then like lightning a blinding flash of silver metal, then next thing she saw was a pair of pair of silver armoured feet, that armour looked so familiar, only for a moment she glanced up and there he was, how had she not sensed him. She had let herself become too hopeful at the thought of escape and had let her gaurd down, He was the last thing she saw before it went dark. He was the Hero of River Dane the finest general in Fereldon history he was also the man who had left her, the Grey Wardens and the rest of the king’s army to the mercy of the Darkspawn at Ostagar, 

Loghain!

Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir had arrived back at the Royal Palace in Denerim, he had spent the last hour pacing back and forth in his personal Royal chambers where he had spent many nights since he had named himself Queen Anora’s regent, for the first time in as long as he could remember he was stuck, Loghain’s mind started racing back to the day of the battle at Ostagar.

***  
Loghains Flashback to the day of the battle  
***

Loghain found himself pacing in his tent, he had to do this, for the sake of Fereldon … his Fereldon, Caillen was a fool if he thought to bring the Orlesian’s back into Fereldon was the best option. Loghain kicked a small wooden crate under his cot in frustration, he raised both of his hands to his face and gently rub his forehead before slowly running his fingers through his hair trying to relax himself taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly with a quiet sigh. Surprising himself with how he now actually began to feel calmer, Loghain’s attention was rudely snatched by a sudden burst of commotion just outside his tent, Loghain stormed out of his tent and immediately set his eyes upon the crowd of young soldiers causing the racket which had disturbed him. 

Marching over to the small crowd of soldiers,  
‘What in the name of Andraste is going on out here!’ Loghain roared, the soldiers all froze in fear as Loghain narrowed in on a young male recruit the other soldiers begun to retreat slightly as Loghain closed the gap between him and the boy. Beads of sweat started to form on the young boy’s brow as Loghain’s dark shadow seemed to swallow his own. As Loghain loomed over the boy he could tell the boy was scared stiff and deep down he knew that he was taking out his foul mood with Caillen on this young lad, but he didn’t care, he just wanted an answer.

‘Well boy … what is it?’ Loghain’s lips began to quiver as though he were a predator closing in on his prey. The young recruit nervously met Loghain’s widened eyes and instantly saw the rage built up behind them, everyone had heard stories of Loghain, how he channelled his anger toward his opponent, how Loghain had never lost a battle. He had never once expected to even see ‘The hero of the River Dane’ let alone be the one on the receiving end of that terrifying icy glare.

‘I’m sorry sir … it’s just … We didn’t mean to disturb you’ the soldier cleared his throat and tried to keep his composure but was failing miserably as Loghain now stood almost nose to nose with him. ‘Well, the men … sir we were just talking about the Grey Wardens, the leader Duncan just returned with a new recruit’ Loghain felt a cold shiver run down his neck, he despised the wardens, always had … he only put up with Caillen’s fascination with them because of his daughter Anora, and no matter how much he missed him Maric, he would never forgive him for allowing the Grey Wardens to return to Fereldon. To avoid becoming distracted, Loghain quickly bought his attention back to the soldier,  
‘So what is so important about the Grey Warden and his new ‘recruit’ that has turned a battalion of trained soldiers into a bunch of giggling tavern wenches!’ Loghain spat the last words as if they were Antivan crow venom.   
The Soldier gulped trying to steady his breathing meeting Loghain’s eye’s once again,  
‘Well, Sir … it isn’t the fact he has a new recruit … it’s the recruit herself’  
Herself … Loghain just realised what this was all about, Duncan had recruited a woman, and he had to admit there weren’t many female soldiers here he could see why a new female face would draw so much attention.   
Loghain noted that the soldier's face had softened realising his own expression must have changed. Trying to keep his brow stern he leaned in closer to the young soldier.

‘Do you recognise this woman then?’ Loghain asked  
‘Actually yes Sire I do, we all do, most of us know her by reputation, we have all heard of her sword skills’ the boy responded, Loghain felt slightly intrigued into discovering who Duncan had managed to feed false hope of glory stories about the Grey Wardens.  
‘We have all heard the rumours about her receiving training from the most skilled warriors and rogues from all over Fereldon, and not to mention how incredibly beautiful she is’ the boy quickly looked to the ground realising he began to blush  
‘I’m sure you know her father Sir’ Loghain raised an eyebrow at this assumption  
‘Oh, and who is her father?’  
‘Her father is the Teyrn of Highever … she is Emily Cousland’  
Loghain felt his stomach twist in knots, the soldier must be mistaken, it can’t possibly be her. Not even responding to the soldier Loghain turned on his heel and marched back to his tent, throwing open the curtains and storming inside he heard the quick footsteps of Ser Cauthrien following his own, he turned and threw his arm toward the curtain and before she had even opened her mouth to speak.

‘Out!’ he shouted, Ser Cauthrien stopped in her tracks unsure of what she had done wrong, on seeing her confused reaction Loghain lowered his arm still not looking her in the eye and as calmly as he could.  
‘Please leave me, I need some time to think … Alone’ Cauthrien stood her ground a moment longer then nodded her head low and retreated back out to the camp. Loghain tried to calm himself he needed to think, but if it is her, if she had survived, what information had survived with her, he knew Caillen would have practically skipped down to greet Duncan and the new recruit, a dozen ‘What if’s’ and ‘How’s’ soared through his mind, and he hadn’t even seen if it was actually Emily Cousland yet all he had heard were the Rumours of soldiers, he knew he had to decide how to proceed with this.

Rendon Howe had previously told him of his desires for Highever, Howe had ranted and raved for hours about how he alone deserved Highever, how it was his right to walk the halls of Highever, and how Bryce had stolen this from him, Loghain recalled their last conversation Rendon had decided that he would talk Highever by force and that if Loghain supported him that he would support Loghain in any and all future actions, gripped by his own greed Loghain had agreed to this. He wasn’t to exultant with the idea of wiping out the Cousland family line, he knew Howe had been furious about Bryce Cousland turning down Rendon’s proposal for Emily to marry Nathanial, Howe had obsessed about it for months and Loghain found himself almost concerned for Emily as Howe seemed to be aiming his anger at her claiming she must think she was too good for his son, that he would show her and her precious Cousland family that they are worth no more than his lowest Elven servant. 

But Loghain had known the reason behind Bryce’s decision, Bryce had spoken with Loghain on several occasions and had requested that Loghain himself take Emily for his wife, Loghain couldn’t lie to himself he had admired Emily’s beauty but he had refused the first request from Bryce, he told him surely he wanted more for his daughter than to be married to some old general nearly as old as her own father, but Bryce stood his ground and all but begged Loghain to please reconsider, Bryce explained over and over that there was no-one else he would trust with his only daughter. Loghain had finally accepted although he knew Bryce had not yet explained this to Emily, was she still unaware of her father’s intentions?  
Loghain had not yet come to terms with the idea of marrying her, he had watched Emily grow up, seen her turn from an adventure seeking child, to a typical ‘life is so unfair and I hate my parent's teenager’, and finally a beautiful, elegant, charming and albeit lethal young woman. 

Loghain once again found his attention being snatched away, the guard at his tent and sheepishly peeked through the curtain, obviously having witnessed the scene with Ser Cauthrien just a few moments ago.   
‘Excuse me, Sir, there is a young woman here to see you’   
Loghain just looked at the guard not sure what to say, if it was her, if it was Emily Cousland then everything he had planned could be ruined, he had never truly intended for her family to die, and certainly not in the way Howe had carried out his deranged plan, he had hoped for another solution, but Howe had made such a convincing case explaining how all off their hopes of victory started with the disposal of the Cousland family.   
Loghain waved the guard away and turned his back on the curtain, once again he found himself rubbing his forehead, he knew he couldn’t avoid going out to face the situation unfolding before him. Loghain took in a deep breath filling his lungs with air that now felt cold and stale, turning to face the curtains again straightening his Silverite Heavy plate armour and after taking in another deep breath he slowly walked out of his tent.

Sunlight hit Loghain’s face first, temporarily blinding him, through his now blurred vision he could see his guard speaking with someone. Forcing his eyes to focus, he cleared his throat,   
‘Yes, what is it?’ Loghain asked looking straight to his guard, he didn’t need to look at her, he already knew it was her, it took only a moment for him to find out if she knew of his involvement in the slaughter of her family, his eye’s met her own and his heart sank, he could see the pain she had tried so hard to hide behind those big eyes that used to sparkle like emeralds, eyes that had aged and grown so very tired, undoubtedly this was caused by recent events, with just meeting his gaze Emily broke down into floods of tears, her knees began to buckle and she would have surely fallen to the ground had Loghain not swept her up into his arms.

Holding her close to him as he nodded to the guard to remain at his post. Loghain carried Emily back into his tent, he gently leant down and seated her weeping body down on his cot her arms falling limp at her sides, Loghain stood silently for a moment and watched her while she sobbed uncontrollably, he found himself wanting to pull her up into his arms, to hold her, to reassure her everything would be alright, but that vile taste of guilt rose up into his throat, he could not tell her everything would be alright, for he knew it would most certainly get worse for her from tonight. Loghain swallowed hard and slowly pull over a wooden chair from his desk and placed it down in front of her, he still had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to her, lowering himself down onto the chair he watched her as her breathing began to slow down and her sobs became less, she had become so beautiful he thought to himself, even now while she was dressed into muddy armour still stained with blood, her long black hair had become knotted and her face stained with a mixture of mourning, exhaustion and tears. Emily’s hands began to shake slightly, instinctively Loghain reached behind her and pulled up the cleanest blanket he could find and wrapped it around her shoulders, seating himself back down he reached his hands forward cupping her own hands in his, and slowly she raised her head to look at him.

‘I’m sorry’ she said ‘I must look like a complete fool’  
‘My lady Cousland’ he forced a smile ‘a tad on the scruffy side yes, but never a fool’  
At this Emily’s lips creased into a fragile smile  
‘I had no idea what else to do, I know I haven’t seen you since my Father’s spring banquet, but I don’t know anyone else in camp’ Emily swallowed hard as if nearly choking on her next words ‘When we arrived the King greeted us, and when I asked to see my brother Fergus’ Emily paused noting the change on Loghain’s expression.  
Loghain couldn’t deny his heart just once again made a head dive for his stomach, Fergus was here! How did he not know this, he must have ridden ahead of his father, Damn it!, if Fergus was indeed here in camp then this could only make things worse.

‘But wait’ Loghain thought, Emily came here first, she said she didn’t know anyone else, apparently ignoring the change in Loghain Emily continued.  
‘When I asked to see my brother, the King told me he wasn’t here, that he was out scouting the Wildes, I … I …. I don’t know what I'm going to do!’ her voice cracked as she spoke and then more tears followed, Loghain admitted to himself as much as he wanted to help her, he really had no idea what to do with a crying woman, his own daughter had never cried in front of him, except on her wedding day but those were tears of joy, nothing like this, knowing he had a part to play in these tears only twisted his emotion further.

Loghain held her hands tighter but not too tight, and began stroking the skin with his thumbs, that seemed to do the trick, he could feel her relaxing, again her breath slowed and soon the tears stopped.  
‘My lady Cousland … Emily…’ at hearing her name, Emily looked straight at him, she wasn’t angry, No it was a strange blend of confusion and compassion,  
‘Emily’ he said again ‘tell me what has happened, I do not mean to be rude, but you are not meant to be here, I was under the impression you were to keep watch at Highever castle while your brother and father rode out with Arl Howe’  
Loghain knew very well what had happened but he had to remain ignorant if his plan were to succeed, Emily stiffened, her face hardened, a dark glaze had covered her eyes, she looked as though she were about to be sick.  
She ripped her hands from his and threw her arms back causing the blanket he had wrapped around her to fall back against the cot. Knowing full well what had caused such a reaction he knew to tread carefully from this moment.  
‘Don’t say that deceitful snake's name!’ Emily spat the words at him and stood up with such a force Loghain had to force his chair back to avoid being knocked over.

Emily stood in front of him, staring into his eyes with such hate, not for him but for Howe. Loghain unfortunately for Emily he had been quite the ‘deceitful snake’ himself over the past few months, so he had become rather good at ‘playing dumb’ as it were. Emily just glared at him for another minute which to Loghain felt more like an hour, he could see her mind working over a thousand things at once. Was she trying to work out what he knew or if he knew anything, or even if she could trust him at all? Loghain sat motionless not daring to move, just looking into those big eyes now aflame probably recollecting the memories of that night. Her face turned again, she closed her eyes for a moment and walked past Loghain who still remained seated just following her with his eyes, she stood at his desk not looking at anything in particular and sighed to herself, she turned back to face him leaning back against the desk she saw the feigned confusion in his eyes.

‘Then … then you do not know, the King didn’t know either’ she shuffled in the spot ‘Does no one know what happened…..Duncan said he sent word ahead, but his scout must not have made it here?’  
Loghain stood himself and walked over to face her as he stood in front of her he could tell now more than ever she was her parents daughter, she was most definitely a Cousland, she had her mother Eleanor’s beauty and her father Bryce’s determination, he could now see this was not a young lady to have as an Enemy.  
‘Emily, please you can trust me, your parents and I have always been friends’  
Emily looked up at him, once again with tears in her eyes,  
‘Rendon Howe murdered my whole family’ Emily choked back a deep breath whilst fighting back tears ‘he arrived at Highever with just over four dozen men, he told my father the rest of his troops would be along the day after as they had been held up by bad weather’  
Loghain wasn’t sure what to say, he knew all of this was part of Rendon’s plan, he decided it was best, for now, to remain silent, Emily took in a deep breath and continued.

‘My father greeted the Howe extended him the same courtesy he always did when he visited … I still don’t understand… why would he do this?’ Looking directly into Loghain’s eyes Emily practically begging for him to give her the answers she longed for ‘What could he possibly gain from slaughtering my family … even poor little Oren’ Loghain had heard Bryce boast about his grandson about how proud he was of the little ‘trooper’. A small tear fell from the corner of Emily’s eye at the mention of her nephew, the tear trickled down the side of her face leaving a thin glossy trail, she brushed it away breaking eye contact with Loghain, he could see so many emotions in her face right now, rage, confusion, and from what he guessed was possibly guilt.  
‘I should have known something was wrong when my father announced the Grey Warden Duncan was going to stay with us overnight, Howe seemed agitated at the fact my father hadn’t told him beforehand of Duncan’s visit’ Emily folded her arms across her body, ‘My father introduced me to Duncan and he said he was had come to Highever look for possible recruits, he mentioned his interest in my father’s High Knight Sir Gilmore … and then he mentioned to my father that I would make for an excellent recruit’ For a single moment Loghain thought he saw a smile cross Emily’s lips, but just as quickly as he’d seen it, it had vanished.

‘And my father being his usual over-protective self, told Duncan that unless he intended to invoke the rite of conscription, my father would never allow him to recruit me’ Emily shifted again on the spot and released her arms from around her waist.  
‘My father then asked me to go and find Fergus to tell him to prepare to leave that night, as the Arl’s men were delayed, mother and father joined us just moments later to wish him well and see him off’ Emily used her hands to push away from the desk and walked past Loghain.

‘Everything happened so fast … I had only been asleep a few hours when I heard screams coming from outside my door’ Emily began shivering again, these memories were still so raw, Loghain walked over to the bed and picked up the blanket Emily had thrown aside, he walked over to her and started to wrap the blanket over her shoulders when faster than he anticipated Emily turned to face him and pressed herself up against him, a bolt of panic shot through Loghain, he didn’t know what to do, his own daughter had never even hugged him, he loved his daughter with all his heart but she refused to give in to simple emotions, not that this situation was in any way simple. Loghain folded his arms around Emily, feeling her relax into him he knew he had made the right decision, holding her in this embrace Loghain couldn’t describe how it made him feel, as she began to cry again Loghain stroked her hair as gently as he could trying to calm her.  
‘He killed them Loghain … he set a trap and he killed everyone, my mother came to my room when she heard the screaming, we both fought our way through dozens of Howe’s soldiers, we made our way to the main hall where Sir Gilmore had been keeping the door barricaded, he told us where my father had gone, we begged him to come with us but he said he swore to my father he would make sure we escaped’ she let out another hard sob.

‘He gave his life to make sure we got to my father, and Howe murdered him, he didn’t deserve that!’ taking another deep breath, Emily continued ‘We found my father in the kitchen, Howe’s soldiers had wounded him, we had an escape tunnel hidden in the pantry, we tried to pick him up and move him but he couldn’t move’ Emily pushed into Loghain urging him to hold her tighter, and so he did, he could only imagine how it must feel to relive all this horror.  
‘There was so much blood … I didn’t know what to do, but then Duncan appeared, he had saved my father’s life, I pleaded with him to help us move my father to safety … But my father … he said no and told Duncan to take me and run, he told Duncan that I needed to survive and that he would do anything that he would give Duncan anything if he promised to get me to Ostagar’ 

Loghain felt that same fear as he did earlier, he hated the Grey Wardens and he had met this Duncan before and had seen the tenacity in his eyes, Duncan would do anything to get recruits, he prayed silently that Bryce had not given up his only daughter to this cruel fate, would Duncan stoop so low as to take advantage of a dying man?   
Loghain pulled back from the embrace, ever so slightly and put his hands on Emily’s shoulders and pushed her back just enough so he could see her face, Emily looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying, her cheeks stained from the tears, even in this state she looked so beautiful, he searched her face for a moment, he didn’t know what for, maybe for a resolve to the mess, finally after what seemed like a lifetime looking those deep green eyes he spoke.  
‘Emily … I can’t begin to imagine what you have been through, but please tell me what did Bryce … sorry, what did your father give Duncan?’ Loghain again felt Emily go tense in his hands, he didn’t like the way this was going ‘Emily … please’  
Emily turned her head away and looked to the floor.  
‘Duncan told my father that he would save me and bring me here if … if my father would allow him to recruit me into the Grey wardens!’  
Loghain felt his own body tense up, his jaw had clenched shut, he closed his eyes trying to channel his anger. That Bastard! He cursed to himself, how could he do this, how could he promise to save her only to enslave her into the damned Grey wardens, Loghain was furious and only then realised he had tightened his grip on Emily’s shoulders he sensed her shift uncomfortably in his grip, forcing his eyes open, he met her eyes and once again saw the beauty in them, he released her shoulders  
‘I’m sorry … Emily, please tell me your father didn’t agree to this?’ there was still the hope that Bryce had refused. Emily looked to the floor and began slowly shaking her head, Loghain felt his heart drop.

‘No … he accepted, it was the only way Duncan would save me’ Loghain walked to the other side of his tent by his desk and rested both hands on it, his head bowed low trying to accept that not only had this young woman witnessed her family murdered and lived and was now standing in his tent with no idea that he knew about Howe’s plot but now to be put through the punishment of being a warden, some would say it was cruel to silently wish she had died with her family rather than put through this pain.  
‘It was me who refused it Loghain, I didn’t want to join, I wanted to stay and protect my parents, it was my duty to protect my family, my mother wouldn’t leave my father, she wanted to stay with him, but once my father had agreed Duncan forced me to leave … I … I didn’t even get to say goodbye, he just left them both there’   
He could hear the bitterness in her voice, keeping his bowed low, he didn’t know what to say to her, he just wanted to get his hands on Duncan, to show him exactly what he thought of the Grey Wardens, but then ... a wave of guilt ran deep through him, how could he stand here feeling so enraged when he allowed it to happen.  
He himself had been called many things throughout his life but he would never prey on a dying man's love for his child's survival.  
‘Loghain…..’ he felt a hand on his shoulder, opening his eyes he turned to look at her, further confusion in her eyes, she did not know of his hatred for the Warden’s let alone his underlying feelings for her.  
‘I’m sorry Emily, I did not mean to appear rude, I find it hard to stomach that you will be joining the Grey Wardens’  
Loghain noticed a flash of instant panic rush across Emily’s face, she rushed toward him, her arms outstretched, he would have reacted differently had he not seen the look of panic on her face seconds before.

‘Please Loghain, I did not agree to this, I did not wish to join the Warden’s…’ Emily paused, holding onto the chest piece of Loghains armour, her breath quivering, ‘I would have rather died right there with my parents’  
Loghains heart leapt into action as did his arms, his hands gripped Emily’s arms and forcefully held her in front of him, he had no idea where this burst of emotion came from, he felt sickened at the thought she wished herself the same fate as her parents, his decisions lead to their demise and yet he was angered by her statement.  
Someone who was once filled with such passion for adventure, such ferocity for life was now reduced to wishing death upon herself.

‘Emily…..’ Loghain shook her once ‘Don’t ever say that…..don’t even think it’  
Emily looked straight into his eyes, she couldn’t place the emotion in his eyes that greeted her, all she could feel was the fierce grip from his hands on her arms.  
‘Loghain, you're hurting me’ Emily wriggled in his grip, Loghain did not let go, pulling her closer to him, so close she could feel his breath on her face.  
‘Promise me you will not think like that again’ almost whispering to her now, Emily had never seen this in anyone especially not someone like Loghain, unsure of how to react, Emily simply stared back wide-eyed at Loghain.

‘Promise me, Emily, your life is worth more than that’  
Forcing herself to break free of her current frozen state, ‘Yes…. I promise…. I’m sorry Loghain’  
Loghain held her for another moment, slowly releasing the grip he had on her, inhaling deeply, he raised his hands to Emily’s face, gently cupping her heated cheeks, ‘I apologise if I hurt you, you must never think like this, you must be strong now’  
Emily felt her whole body weaken at his words, she knew he was right, however, she didn’t know how to be strong right now.  
Looking back into his eyes, she could see how genuine he was, and almost a hint of vulnerability, another instance where she was unsure of how to react.  
Moments passed the two just silently staring at one another, as soon as Emily found her voice, Loghains guard announced the Kings arrival at Loghains tent.  
As King Cailen did not need to wait for approval to enter, seconds later he was brushing through the dark green tent curtains.

The site before him, his highest ranking general, his father in law, standing in front of the young Grey Warden recruit, her face cupped in his hands.  
A moment which felt like a lifetime passed, Loghain was the first to break the silence, dropping his hands and taking a swift step to the right away from Emily.  
Emily spun on her heal and dropped her head to bow to the King while trying to hide her sheer embarrassment.  
Smiling widely watching the amusing display unfold in front of him, Cailen opened his arms and broke into a wild fit of laughter.

‘Dear maker Loghain, if you could see the look on your face’ wiping a tear from the corner of his eye Cailen further entered the tent, he chuckled to himself, walking toward Emily, ‘Please Lady Cousland, do not bow’ Emily slowly looked up to meet the cheerful smile of the King, his eyes were unlike any she had seen, so kind and full of life, Cailen’s attention quickly turned to Loghain.  
‘I’m sorry if I interrupted anything’ he teased with a cheeky grin, causing Loghain to grunt in dissatisfaction.  
‘Your Majesty, believe me, you did not interrupt ‘anything’ Emily….. pardon me, Lady Cousland and I are old friends’ Loghain glanced over to Emily ‘She had visited me to explain the invasions which took place of her home and the unfortunate fate of her Father’  
The atmosphere in the tent changed instantly, Cailen’s cheerful expression altered to a more compassionate one, he looked over to Emily and smiled.

‘Once again my Lady please accept my sincere condolences for your loss, and have faith in my promise to you, we will give your family justice’  
Emily warmed to Cailen’s words, nodding gently, forcing a smile back ‘Thank you’  
King Cailen held out his arm to Emily ‘My timing as always is terrible, I would like to borrow my general to discuss our battle plans for tonight’  
‘Of course, your majesty’ Emily looked back to Loghain and smiled, turning back to the tent entrance, Cailen called out ‘Oh my Lady before I forget, Alistair the Grey Warden is looking for you, you will find him north of the mage camp’  
Nodding Emily turned and left the tent and headed north to find Alistair.


End file.
